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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Historical Archives: By Many On-Lookers And Passers-Bye, Seen To Depart Out Mortal Vale In A Boothe

By many on-lookers and Passers-Bye, SEEN to Depart out mortal Vale in a BOOTHE, so cunningly Artificed as to Collapse and Vanish entire into the Aether, were traveling Gentles William S. Preston, Esq., & Theodore Logan, though whence they came and whereto they Travel, none may Say.

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