Historical Archives: Facial Corsets For Ladies, Finally

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Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.

Tips For Traveling With Young Children

Family vacations can be a time for bonding and building lasting memories, but when young children are involved, trips can also be stressful to plan and execute. Here are The Onion’s tips for traveling with kids
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

    YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Historical Archives: Facial Corsets For Ladies, Finally

Woman, look again as twelve years of age! At last, FACIAL CORSETS for LADIES make slender and comely the Woman's Face, pushing up and accentuating the Cheeks for a very alluring Visage. No more shall the eyes of a Stranger be drawn to your un-attractive Chin or Jaw Bone. Be the talk of your Village, and find yourself with CHYLDE within weeks. Let People wonder whence your Cheekbones have been hiding.