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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Historical Archives: Local Black-Smith is Disappointed By Son's Wishes To Be-Come a Wheel-Wright

As a veritable Flood of Waggons continues to stir the Muck of our Thorough Fares, and the Traffick there of makes great Demand for the bespok'd Wheel, many a Lad is being tempt'd from the honest Heat of the Forge and Anvil to the licentious Cool of the Chop-Stump & Spoke-Shave by the Promise of ready Lucre. So testifi'd one Smith, Mr. Smith, as mighty as Hephaestus him Self, a Man who toils Day & Night under the spreading Chest Nut Tree, who, when inform'd that his own Son, verily wean'd on a Pair of Tongs, was lured away from his Duties as Bellows-Monkey upon learning he could earn as much as one Buck Skin Dollar a Year, rais'd a sinewy Fore Arm to the Heavens, and condemn'd the Wheel Wright Profession as errant Wool Gathering; for the Waggon Wheel is but a cheap jack Novelty, a Passing Fancy soon on its way Out, where as Horses, Mules, Asses, &c.; are in great Abundance, and are e'er in Need of Shoes, Bits, & Stirrup-Pins, &c.;

Correspondence from Mssrs. Cooper, Farrior, Carpenter, & Farmer, employ'd as a Cooper, Farrior, Carpenter, & Farmer, respectively, stated unanimously that, had they known, when their Sons were but Babes-in-Arms, that their young ones would one Day devote their Lives in Service of the Waggon, they would have cast them from the House with out Hesitation, Swaddling & All, and bid them grow to stunt'd Man Hood as mere Colliers, and to haul Coal for the Duration of their Lives.

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