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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Historical Archives: Only Thirteen Thousand Acres Of Forest Remaining On Manhattan Island

Some have propos'd a radickal and, some may even saye, DRASTICK measure, of securing a parcel of "greens-space," designated as "off-of-Limits" to additional development, as a sort of "Centralized Park," and that lands in the City's middle part, between Rector Street and Wall Street, be placed under this Protecktion. Although most agree that such a Plan is an over-reaction, for surely, even in the worst of future cases, New York is un-likely to expand past the area of the Trinity Church, the Question of how much acreage of Forest the Island Manhattan can maintain is never the less a serious one.

Eg, will the Forests of Manhattan some day be unable to sustain viable hunting Populations of Deere, Moose, Elke and Brown Bear? Our Bible states that these Beasts were placed here for our Benefit. We are Stewards of the Land, and it causes sadness to think that our children may not know the Joy of felling such Game, and resort to the hunting of mere Geese and Duckes instead, for lack of roome.

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