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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Historical Archives: Popular Hymns heard sung of late.

"O, O, O Lord, O, O".

"These Lesions, Ho, Are The Lord's Lesions".

"Yea, How The Lord Doth Despise Us".

Untitled Slave Song About Being Tired.

"Oh, And That Reminds Me Another Thing Jesus Did".

"God Forgive My Masturbations".

"Let All Herein Be Seated in a Manner Orderly".

"Psalm 124".

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