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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Historical Archives: Secret Society Of Free-Bakers Has Fail'd To Gain Influence

Thus Far For Archaic Fraternity No Meetings In Smoke Filled Chambers To Plot Conspiracies Moſt Un-Thinkable Against Their Own Citizens.

'Who Then Be Our Shado'y Puppet-Masters?' Ask Manny

Amere 7 Years since our Nation declared her Independence from Tyranny, and in so doing begun to Cultivate her own Treasure & Commerce, that ancient Order of Bread Makers & Yeast Men, the FREE-BAKERS, though their Numbers are said to be Manny, and operate from Shadows, has lately fail'd to exert Power and Influence, through what Contracts Supernatural they are wont to enter, over America, what so ever.

These Keepers of Secret Recipes most vile and esoteric, pri'd from the dusty Tombs of Egypt, and who, like Minions of† Hell's Anteroom itself, intone in low Chants with Ghostly Voice the Dreaded Incantations "Fold In Eggs, Fold In Eggs," and "Into the Kiln at Degrees of Three Hundreds and Seventy and Five for Three Hours Put" and "Rise! Rise! Rise!" in Truth wield no Strangle Hold over the Banking or Judiciary, or the Legislative Houses, state or federal, of this new Republic, as should be-fit a Secret Society of Trades Men.

That General Him Self, WASHINGTON, has told the Apron-Wearers, these BAKING MEN, to take their Sifting Tools to some other Province, where their sinister Symbols of Whisk & Rolling Pin might meet Success with Men of less Liberty, and where Lucifer's own Confections be gladly et, thus permitting their Destiny to fall into the floury Hands of the FREE-BAKERS, but not in America here, where Men are Free to live and trade and toil as they will under the Claws of None, save for the benevolent Free Masons, and the Families Prescott, and Astor, and Winthrop, our Republic's serene and supreme Saviours and Over Lords for all Eternity.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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