Historical Archives: Ship's Log

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1783: First Onion Issue

Historical Archives: Kid-ney Bean Shaped Organ Recently Discovered

By Chirurgeons and Blood-Letters, in Boston DISCOVER'D, an Organelle of the Body, an' that Human; excis'd from the Back & Mottl'd Purple in Colour, and very like a Kiddney-Bean in SHAPE, which when Remov'd causes Expiration, as with all Organs. By Chirurgeons and Blood-Letters, in Boston DISCOVER'D, an...
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Historical Archives: Ship's Log

Departing To The Ends Of The Earth.

Small expedition ship The Petula Rosa has departed from the Shores of Rhode Island this fourth week of June in hopes of escaping Ridicule aimed at its rather effeminate Name.

Arriving From The Orient.

Sea-faring vessel The Nautilus, led by Captain James McCann, has returned from a Year's long Voyage to The Far-East with an abundant supply of Rare and Exceptional spices. Collected aboard the gentle ship is CUMIN, FENNEL, CARDAMOM, and RED CURRY, the lot of which will be circulated among Citizens, so that they may be applied to the Copulating Organs, and God-Willing, bring an end to certain nefarious Urges.

For Amsterdam.

The Ship Amigo,

Captain James Joseph Anchower II, will set sail on the fifteen of July for freight or passage and is willing to be compensated with backside, lantern oil, or the leaf of hemp.

The Good-Ship Tea Ship has returned from Great-Britain with MORE TEA, thus completing her 47th voyage across the Atlantic Ocean, each time departing with No Tea and porting with Tea Aplenty, tho' We needn't more Tea and are all ready burdened with an Amount of GOD-forsaken Tea so great it is nigh Undrinkable.

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