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Historical Archives: Sing Ho! For the KING of Broil'd MEATS

As he doth Celebrate the OPENING for BUS-INESS,

an' all related to the COOKING of MEATS upon the FLAME,

an' against all known laws of Physick, Reason, and Commerce,

a seckond EATERIE,

Within half a day's walk of,

And in ev'ry Fashion a Match to, his First,

which shall remain Open as well.

FURTHERMORE: The Plenipotentiary of Meat has allow'd, as a Measure of Com-Passion, the Offering of ONE

MEAL OF GREAT VALUE

For those who have mere Pfennies, but desire a Banquet that is worth More in all Seeming.

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Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

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