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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Historical Archives: To Be Sold - Carved Wooden Heads

By the most skilled Crafts-men have been created Carved Wooden HEADS of remark able quality and bilaterally symmetrical appearance and known to generally reduce the suffering of those Veterans, who during the course of the LATE-WAR with Great-Britain had the Misfortune of decapitation by well-placed Blow, Cannon Ball, Bouts of Gangrene, or dislocation of the SKULL, often resulting in the impediment of proper nodding functions and intolerable HEAD-ACH. Contains a Pair of Faces, for Occasions either solemn or mournful, with wooden dowel Eyes, quarter of one-inch bored Holes for Ears, and handsome Grain most disagreeable to the WOODPECKER.

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