Historical Archives: To Be Sold - Carved Wooden Heads

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Historical Archives: To Be Sold - Carved Wooden Heads

By the most skilled Crafts-men have been created Carved Wooden HEADS of remark able quality and bilaterally symmetrical appearance and known to generally reduce the suffering of those Veterans, who during the course of the LATE-WAR with Great-Britain had the Misfortune of decapitation by well-placed Blow, Cannon Ball, Bouts of Gangrene, or dislocation of the SKULL, often resulting in the impediment of proper nodding functions and intolerable HEAD-ACH. Contains a Pair of Faces, for Occasions either solemn or mournful, with wooden dowel Eyes, quarter of one-inch bored Holes for Ears, and handsome Grain most disagreeable to the WOODPECKER.