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Historical Archives: To Be Sold - Two Chamber Pot House

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Historical Archives: To Be Sold - Two Chamber Pot House

Luxury shall not be outside your hearth but inside with a TWO CHAMBER-POT HOUSE. No more shall your Unmentionable Parts suffer discomfort from frigid conditions because your Chamber-Pot is occupied by a suff'rer of the Piles. Live like the ROYALS. Comes with a Window through which you can empty your chamber-pots. Also with a Fire-place, a root-cellar for storage of your winter victuals, and a space for bedding down

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