History Of Rock Written By The Losers

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Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history

Netflix To Temporarily Remove Every Movie Except ‘Hard Eight’

‘Everyone Should See It At Least Once,’ Company Says

LOS GATOS, CA—Saying that everyone, including all 65 million of its subscribers, really ought to see the film at least once, Netflix announced Tuesday that it will suspend all streaming content except Hard Eight for a full month.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 15, 2015

ARIES: Some things only become funny when you look back on them years later. Conversely, the events of next week will seem funny at the time, but as the years go by, society will gain sensitivity and learn to outgrow that sort of thing.

Your Horoscopes – Week of May 1, 2012

ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 18, 2015

ARIES: Your feeling of impending doom shall come to nothing again this week as the world continues to turn and your life goes on as normal. Perhaps you should consider feeling useless and stupid instead.

Highlights From ‘Go Set A Watchman’

Harper Lee’s buzzed-about new release, Go Set A Watchman, went on sale last week, taking the world by storm with its new investigations of Scout Finch as a grown woman and its divisive portrayal of her father, Atticus Finch, as a racist figure. Here are some highlights from the new book:

Leonardo DiCaprio Agrees To Donate It-Factor To Science

LOS ANGELES—Saying the gift would immeasurably improve their understanding of the ineffable quality that makes certain big-screen stars positively radiate, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles announced Tuesday that A-list actor Leonardo DiCaprio has agreed to donate his it-factor to science.

How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Comic-Con Survival Guide

San Diego Comic-Con is expected to draw more than 130,000 fans to Southern California this year to participate in cosplaying, attend panels, go to film screenings, and learn more about their favorite series. Here are some tips for surviving the four-day conference

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...
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History Of Rock Written By The Losers

BOSTON—Fifty years after its inception, rock 'n' roll music remains popular due to the ardor of its fans and the hard work of musicians, producers, and concert promoters. But in the vast universe of popular music, there exists an oft-overlooked group of dedicated individuals who devote their ample free time to collecting, debating, and publishing the minutiae of the rock genre. They are the losers who write rock's rich and storied history.

Dana Harris spends a Friday night cataloging his CD collection on a computer spreadsheet.

"The city of Boston is about more than just Mission Of Burma or Galaxie 500, and it's certainly about more than Boston or The Cars," said 28-year-old Dana Harris, a rock historian. "The scene in Boston is full of history, but it's also vibrant right now. Someone needs to record all the amazing things going on here, even if it means that person will never have a social life."

For Harris, rock is the only topic of conversation and the only form of entertainment. While other men his age go on dates or enjoy the sunlight, Harris haunts the rear corners of local rock clubs like The Paradise, where he sits alone, hunched over a notebook. During the day, he works in his windowless bedroom compiling facts about the city's rock history for his web site, BostonRockScene.com.

"Rock is so important to me," Harris said, gesturing to a cabinet where he files articles concerning all of the live shows he attends and detailed transcriptions of interviews with artists who live only blocks away. "If I couldn't write about music and collect music, I have no idea what I'd do instead."

The social misfits who chronicle rock seek not only to log facts, but also to influence public opinion about obscure rock issues, something most people care little about.

"Joe Lunchpail would say 'Rock Around The Clock' by Bill Haley & His Comets was the first rock single, but that's dead wrong," said Dave Rinkin, a line cook in Chapel Hill, NC, who occasionally writes for Roctober magazine and has a collection of more than 10,000 records. "Haley's song just brought the sound to the mainstream. Anyone who knows anything will say the first single was either Roy Brown's 'Good Rockin' Tonight' or 'Rocket 88' by Jackie Brenston And His Delta Cats."

Added Rinkin: "Brenston And His Delta Cats was actually Ike Turner's Kings Of Rhythm under a different name, in case you didn't know."

From covering concerts for a local newspaper to distilling rock's history into an 800-page book, the historians of rock 'n' roll soldier on, despite their negligible impact on the direction or quality of rock itself.

"When you're writing rock's history, you have to make some hard choices," said Anthony DeCurtis, one of the editors of The Rolling Stone Illustrated History Of Rock. "Do you give equal space to influential artists like Jonathan Richman, Gang Of Four, and Fugazi, even though they're not as well known as Madonna or Elton John? Making a decision like that can take an entire weekend of soul-searching."

"I don't mind, though, because I love music," added DeCurtis, slipping a Cream CD just to the left of one by The Creation in the British Invasion section of his music collection. "Rock is just so spontaneous and full of life."

Not all rock history is comprehensive. Many rock historians choose to focus on individual artists who can barely tolerate the authors when they meet. In-depth rock bios have been written about acts ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Captain Beefheart, with biographers desperately trying to attain coolness by association with their subjects.

"Talking Heads was a crucial band for its time," said David Bowman, author of This Must Be The Place: The Adventures Of The Talking Heads In The 20th Century. "Their quirky brand of music brought African and funk flavors to American pop, both in the underground and on Top 40 radio. David Byrne's influence can still be heard in modern hip-hop. If you have a couple hours, I'd be happy to talk at you about it."

Although rock historians provide a valuable service to music fanatics, Princeton sociology professor Henry Yates said that their focus on music hinders their accumulation of knowledge in other areas.

"From discussing long-defunct record labels to analyzing the impact of a band's personnel changes, rock historians cannot see beyond their acne-scarred noses to realize that there are interesting subjects in the world besides music," said Yates, a self-professed "ex-music-nerd." "If you ask them who the U.S. attorney general is, or what's going on in the park around the corner, you'll get a blank stare. But ask which member of The Doors produced Los Angeles, the debut album by X, and you'll have to dodge all the flying spittle from everyone trying to be the first to answer."

Added Yates: "It was Ray Manzarek."