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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Hollywood Plans Big-Budget Remake Of Mr. & Mrs. Smith

LOS ANGELES—Studio executives at 20th Century Fox announced that production will begin next month on a big-budget, all-star remake of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, the blockbuster action film of 2005 starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. "We're always looking for ideas, and moviegoers really responded to Mr. & Mrs. Smith," said Fox vice president of development Mtumne Ngumwebaum. "Buckle up, action fans! This time we're going to do it bigger and better, with twice the budget and even hotter stars." Said film critic Harry Knowles: "You shouldn't touch a classic like Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but if you bring Eli Roth in as director, count me in!"

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