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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Home Crowd Disagrees With Ref’s Call But Respects His Decision

INDIANAPOLIS—Following a controversial call Saturday, the home crowd at Lucas Oil Stadium told reporters that they disagree with the referee but respect his decision. “‘Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit’ is something you might mindlessly chant at a time like this if you didn’t realize that this ref is simply doing a very tough job to the best of his abilities,” said Rob White, 29, speaking on behalf of the roughly 67,000 Colts fans in attendance, all of whom conceded that the benefits of a neutral party upholding the rules and regulations of a professional sporting event far outweigh the occasional officiating errors. “None of us would have thrown that flag, but then again, from our vantage point, we might have missed something that he saw. Regardless, it’s important that we accept his ruling in order to maintain the legitimacy of positivist law in football. We’re ready to move on.” At press time, Colts head coach Chuck Pagano was reportedly pulling the referee aside to tell him that, while he might have made a mistake in calling this particular penalty, his efforts are still very much appreciated.

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