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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Home Crowd Disagrees With Ref’s Call But Respects His Decision

INDIANAPOLIS—Following a controversial call Saturday, the home crowd at Lucas Oil Stadium told reporters that they disagree with the referee but respect his decision. “‘Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit’ is something you might mindlessly chant at a time like this if you didn’t realize that this ref is simply doing a very tough job to the best of his abilities,” said Rob White, 29, speaking on behalf of the roughly 67,000 Colts fans in attendance, all of whom conceded that the benefits of a neutral party upholding the rules and regulations of a professional sporting event far outweigh the occasional officiating errors. “None of us would have thrown that flag, but then again, from our vantage point, we might have missed something that he saw. Regardless, it’s important that we accept his ruling in order to maintain the legitimacy of positivist law in football. We’re ready to move on.” At press time, Colts head coach Chuck Pagano was reportedly pulling the referee aside to tell him that, while he might have made a mistake in calling this particular penalty, his efforts are still very much appreciated.

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