adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay. “I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead. “And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.” Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close