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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Hometown Wistfully Toured Via Google Street View

COLUMBUS, OH—Eleven years after last walking through his hometown, 29-year-old local man Paul Brundage reportedly spent the entire evening Friday revisiting his childhood neighborhood in Decatur, IL using the Google Maps Street View feature. “Looks like that tree I always liked to climb is gone now,” said Brundage, sitting alone in his home office and slowly clicking through the panoramic images on his computer screen to retrace what was for six years the daily route he took between his childhood home and his elementary school. “I guess they got a new playground. And that market where I used to buy candy after school is a cell phone store now. Huh. I guess it has been a long time.” Sources confirmed Brundage later sat motionless for 40 minutes while staring at the house his high school girlfriend’s family moved out of eight years ago.

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