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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Horrible Pack Of Theme-Restaurant Waitresses Alerted Of Patron's Birthday

LODI, MI—At the last moment, a cackling, seething coven of waitresses at a local Chi Chi's was alerted to restaurant patron Jim Alea's 32nd birthday Monday. "Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday, to you," shrieked the aproned harpies in a 20-second chant which, according to one witness, "seemed to flare out into a thousand eternities." Alea grimaced in horror at the fast-clapping she-demons before slumping under the weight of a 25-pound Chi Chi's "birthday sombrero."

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