HorseConnect, The Social Network For Horses, Bought For $1 Billion

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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Race Relations

HorseConnect, The Social Network For Horses, Bought For $1 Billion

PALO ALTO, CA—In an exciting development for what many tech insiders are calling the hottest startup in Silicon Valley, HorseConnect, the social network exclusively for horses, has been acquired for approximately $1 billion, sources confirmed Thursday. “When we heard of a website that allows horses to create personal profiles and connect with one another online, we knew we had to get in on the ground floor,” said venture capitalist Micah Sheridan, leader of the consortium of private investors who successfully completed the all-cash deal, adding that he anticipated every stallion, colt, and filly in America would eventually be using the burgeoning social media platform. “There’s a ton of buzz around this property, and for good reason: Once we expand into the global market, the revenue potential is enormous. No question, it’s a bright future for HorseConnect, and we’re going to be there every step of the way.” Despite Sheridan’s unwavering enthusiasm about his investment group’s acquisition, many analysts reportedly have expressed their concerns as to its long-term growth potential, pointing to the disastrous IPOs of competing equine social networks Foal Follow, YearLink, and MareFinder.

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