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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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House Of Representatives Magically Switches Bodies With Senate

WASHINGTON, DC—Members of the Senate and the House of Representatives were magically transposed Tuesday, in an event Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist described as "freaky." "Sen. [Orrin] Hatch [R-UT] had just introduced S.J. Res. 15 when, all of a sudden, we found ourselves in these huge chambers with all these extra seats around us," Frist said. "I looked down, and there in my hand was a copy of H.R. 2799, but I had no idea how to go about defending its contents." Members of both congressional bodies proceeded to learn valuable lessons about one another's perspectives on the legislative process.

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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