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Housing Prices Spike As Tech Employee Takes Stroll Through Neighborhood

OAKLAND, CA—Pricing out residents on either side of the street with each step he took, Facebook software engineer Eric Healy reportedly sent local housing costs soaring during a casual stroll through a residential neighborhood Tuesday. “Wow, what a nice day,” said Healy, increasing the rent on local one- and two-bedroom apartments threefold and adding at least $350,000 in property value to each building within a three-block radius as he made his way along the sidewalk. “It’s so nice to get outside and take a walk.” At press time, sources reported that two artisanal bakeries, an Anthropologie, and a themed tiki bar had begun making plans to move into the quiet neighborhood as Healy paused on a street corner for several moments to answer a phone call.

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