Recent News

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
End Of Section
  • More News

Houston, We Have Some FUN!

Even though the shuttle program is over, the fun's not over at NASA. Come on down to Houston and see for yourself at the brand new Johnson Space Center Haunted House.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.