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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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How To Consume Spicy Foods

Spicy foods continue to grow in popularity, whether they agree with your palate or not. Here are some tips on how to avoid social awkwardness while consuming spicy dishes:

  • Assure your palate you mean it no harm by giving it a little kiss before each meal.
  • Hot peppers can be dangerously potent, so err on the side of safety and wear goggles when eating them.
  • Put the sensation into perspective by making your professional life even hotter and spicier.
  • Discreetly wrap a napkin as best you can around your tongue.
  • When wearing a button-down shirt, it's important to leave it slightly open at the neck for a suave, casual effect, but not so open that others can see the top of the Van Halen logo on your T-shirt underneath.
  • Tilt your head upward so your companions can only see it in profile, open your mouth, and then pretend to drop the spicy food chunk by chunk down your throat, clandestinely hiding the morsels in a pouch wedged under your ear and between your neck and shirt collar.

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