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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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How To Consume Spicy Foods

Spicy foods continue to grow in popularity, whether they agree with your palate or not. Here are some tips on how to avoid social awkwardness while consuming spicy dishes:

  • Assure your palate you mean it no harm by giving it a little kiss before each meal.
  • Hot peppers can be dangerously potent, so err on the side of safety and wear goggles when eating them.
  • Put the sensation into perspective by making your professional life even hotter and spicier.
  • Discreetly wrap a napkin as best you can around your tongue.
  • When wearing a button-down shirt, it's important to leave it slightly open at the neck for a suave, casual effect, but not so open that others can see the top of the Van Halen logo on your T-shirt underneath.
  • Tilt your head upward so your companions can only see it in profile, open your mouth, and then pretend to drop the spicy food chunk by chunk down your throat, clandestinely hiding the morsels in a pouch wedged under your ear and between your neck and shirt collar.

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