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How To Rise To The Challenge

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture
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How To Rise To The Challenge

Life doesn't always go the way you plan. Sometimes, an obstacle comes along—be it at work, in your home life, or elsewhere—that you need to overcome. Here are some tips on how to rise to the challenge:

  • Keep telling yourself the other guy is still one chicken wing ahead of you.
  • Remember: Whatever you do, crack your knuckles immediately before doing it. And, if you can, crack your neck to one side and then the other.
  • Make liberal use of the phrase "You're damn right I can!"
  • Always believe in yourself—unless you’re a liar, then just ask someone who knows you pretty well.
  • Read a book about how to lucid dream. Fall asleep. Now, achieve your goal in your dream and try to never wake up again, winner.

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