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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Hurricane Gives Holed-Up Couple Great Chance To Have All Those Fights They've Been Avoiding

NEW YORK—Holed up in their apartment while Hurricane Sandy continues its path up the East Coast, local couple Tim Zucchino, 29, and Helen Powell, 27, told reporters today they were glad to finally get a chance to have all those bitter and tense arguments they’ve been avoiding for the past few months. “Now that Tim and I are trapped alone in our small one-bedroom apartment for God knows how long, we’ll definitely take this opportunity to have some of those big fights about our communication issues we’ve been putting off,” said Powell, sitting next to a nodding Zucchino, who added that he was looking forward to “making that petty comment about Helen’s compulsive tidiness that [he] didn’t get around to last week.” “Sometimes, we both get so caught up in work we just have no energy for our usual screaming matches over whose fault it is that we never spend any time together. But now we literally have days to sit on a couch and wallow in anger and sexual frustration.” At press time, Zucchino and Powell told reporters they really hoped the power would be knocked out soon so they could start fighting about who forgot to purchase flashlight batteries.

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