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Husband Points Out That He Vacuumed

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Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

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WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

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The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

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Husband Points Out That He Vacuumed

BOISE, ID–Area husband Will Grantham, proud of his contribution to the household chores, made special note to his wife Monday that he vacuumed the living room and hallway. "I took care of the vacuuming," Grantham told wife Emily as she scrubbed mildew out of the shower tile grout. "There might be some lint under the sofa, but I got all the visible parts." Grantham previously made headlines for his 1997 unsolicited wiping of dust from a den bookshelf.

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