Hush Falls Over Patriots Camp As Tom Brady's First 10 Passes Go 3 Yards

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Tom Brady

Female Fans Out For Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury

FOXBOROUGH, MA—More than 90 percent of female football fans were lost for the sesaon on Sunday when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady suffered a left knee injury that will require extensive treatment. The Partriots announced Monday...

Tom Brady

Onion Sports takes a long, loving look at the man who may be the most beautiful NFL MVP of all time.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

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Hush Falls Over Patriots Camp As Tom Brady's First 10 Passes Go 3 Yards

FOXBOROUGH, MA—Excitement surrounding the return of quarterback Tom Brady devolved into mute panic Thursday as each of Brady’s first 10 passes barely made it to the line of scrimmage. "Oh, God," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, breaking the silence that fell across the assembled players, coaches, and legions of fans who had just witnessed Brady’s ninth pass flutter slowly from his limp hand and land between his own feet. "Who’s our backup? Does anyone know who our backup is?" When asked for comment, wide receiver Randy Moss said he doesn’t care how poorly Brady throws the ball as long at it rolls in his direction.

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