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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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‘I Think We Still Have A Shot,’ Carly Fiorina Assures Closest Inkjet Printer

CONCORD, NH—In an effort to regroup after receiving a disappointing 2 percent of votes in the Iowa caucuses, Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina reportedly huddled with her closest inkjet printer Tuesday and assured it that the campaign still had a shot of winning the nomination. “Sure, we didn’t get the numbers we wanted in Iowa, but New Hampshire’s a whole new ballgame, and there are still 48 more states up for grabs after that,” said Fiorina, who attempted to comfort the trusted HP Deskjet 1000, which sources confirmed has been at the former Hewlett-Packard CEO’s side since before she announced her candidacy in early 2015. “We’re still polling well with women and moderates, and once the field narrows a little after South Carolina and Nevada, we can really start to get our message out there. I’m just so glad I can always rely on you, Deskjet 1000—I could never do this without you.” At press time, the combination printer-scanner-copier had reportedly faxed a copy of its system specs to the Rubio campaign.

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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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