adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

'I Want A Divorce,' Peter King's Wife Says Just Before He Tells Her About Best Defensive Backs In 2013 Draft

NEW YORK—Moments before launching into a long diatribe about the 2013 NFL Draft’s top defensive backs, Sports Illustrated writer Peter King’s wife Ann reportedly told her husband she wanted a divorce, sources confirmed on Thursday. “Peter, it’s over; I want a divorce,” said Ann, packing her suitcase as her husband momentarily paused and then explained that Dee Milliner and David Amerson can provide solid run support for any team that needs it, that Jonathan Banks’ lanky frame doesn’t mean he’s not one of the most physical guys in this entire draft, and that if you’re looking for a tough corner with solid cover skills, you won’t get much better than Washington’s Desmond Trufant. “Listen, Peter, I don’t want to hear about this right now.” As his wife left the house and closed the door, reports confirmed that King was talking incessantly about the natural athleticism of Texas safety Kenny Vaccaro.

Follow @OnionSports for live coverage of tonight's NFL Draft at 8 p.m. EST.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close