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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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'I Was One Of Several People Duped,' Manti Te'o Tells Scarecrow Dressed As Katie Couric

NEW YORK—Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o admitted Thursday that he was one of several people duped by an elaborate hoax involving the death of his nonexistent girlfriend in a revealing interview with a scarecrow dressed as Katie Couric. “It wasn’t just me—a lot of people got tricked,” said Te’o, who reportedly reached for the scarecrow’s straw hand and gazed longingly into the eyes drawn on the burlap sack face. “You know, Katie, your beautiful face reminds me a lot of Lennay’s. You make me so comfortable, I feel like I’ve known you forever. I love how you’re always smiling.” At press time, sources confirmed that a panicked Te’o was frantically attempting to resuscitate the unresponsive Katie Couric scarecrow.

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