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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Iditarod Musher Limiting Self To Eating Just One Husky Per Day

GALENA, AK—Stressing the importance of pacing oneself over the course of the 1,000-mile dog sledding race, veteran Iditarod musher Paul Gebhardt told reporters Thursday that he always makes sure to limit himself to eating just one husky per day. “The Iditarod is a long, strenuous race, and you’re going to find yourself in serious trouble if you eat up all your sled dogs too early,” said Gebhardt, noting that he has long restricted himself to butchering, skinning, and devouring only a single husky at the end of a long day on the trail, making sure to always finish the entire dog before slaughtering a new one. “A lot of the younger guys don’t know how to ration their dogs; they’re wolfing down three or four a day at the get-go, and then they get themselves into a situation where they’ve got nothing left to eat down the stretch. I always tell them: Slow down, or you’re going to be kicking yourself when you’re still 80 miles from the finish line and you’re gnawing on your last hind leg. You need to stay disciplined.” Gebhardt added that following the Iditarod, there’s nothing more rewarding than getting home and immediately slaughtering and feasting on his remaining dogs.

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