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'I'm Doing Just Fine,' Filthy, Unshaven Isiah Thomas Reports Into Banana

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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'I'm Doing Just Fine,' Filthy, Unshaven Isiah Thomas Reports Into Banana

NEW YORK—Speaking directly into a banana he evidently believed a reporter was holding, an unkempt and soiled Isiah Thomas held a makeshift press conference inside a cardboard box Tuesday to inform pedestrians walking past Madison Square Garden that he was "doing all right." "I'm just concentrating on helping out around here," said the former Knicks executive and head coach, who addressed a man dropping change into the soup can in front of him as Nate Robinson. "You gotta go strong to the rim, Nate! Now get back here and practice that until you get it right. You want me to keep you on the bench? You stay away from the bench, that's mine." Thomas reportedly ended the news conference with an incoherent closing statement before returning the banana to his urine-soaked pants.

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