Impersonal Trainer Couldn't Give A Fuck What You Do With Those Free Weights

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Vol 41 Issue 48

Onion Sports 2005-06 NCAA Brackets

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Annika Sorenstam Has Another Remarkable Year For A Lady

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Annika Sorenstam, the absolutely adorable doll of golf's lighter, gentler side, and a true lady who has absolutely charmed ladies' golf fans since joining the always-heartwarming Ladies' Professional Golf Association Tour...
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Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Impersonal Trainer Couldn't Give A Fuck What You Do With Those Free Weights

LOS ANGELES—Wes Orth Jr., the man considered to be the standard-bearer for a new breed of strong and aloof impersonal trainers, could not care less about the workout regimen of his clients, many of whom say his indifference powers their adrenaline-charged, spite-filled workouts. "Sure, wave those dumbbells around, whatever," Orth said during a typically hands-off training session at his L.A. gym this weekend. "Or just sit on your fat ass—I get paid either way." Orth's newest workout video, Wes Orth Jr. Doesn't Give Two Damp Shits If You Live Strong Or Die Young, debuted at the top of the Amazon DVD sales charts on Monday.

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