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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Impossible To Tell If Frazzled Woman In Walgreens Uniform Going To Or Coming From Work

NEW YORK—Local pedestrians told reporters Thursday morning they were unable to discern whether the agitated, uniform-clad woman smoking a cigarette on a city sidewalk was on her way to work at a nearby Walgreens or returning home from a night shift there. “Wow, she’s either just had a really shitty day at work at Walgreens or she knows one is coming,” office worker Kenneth Turner said moments after he passed the bleary-eyed, slump-shouldered woman on a street not far from the 24-hour drugstore. “She looks beaten down and is sighing heavily, but I can’t tell if that’s because she has just stood under fluorescent lights while being berated by angry customers for eight hours straight, or is about to.” At press time, witnesses confirmed the woman had uncontrollably burst into tears, a development that did nothing to shed any light on the situation.

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Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

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