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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Impressive WBC Showing Gives Orlando Yntema Leverage At UVV Utrecht Contract Negotiations

TOKYO—In the midst of a successful run with the Netherlands national team at the World Baseball Classic, starting pitcher Orlando Yntema told reporters Wednesday that his impressive performance at the tournament will give him increased leverage when entering contract negotiations with Holland’s UVV Utrecht ballclub. “If I keep pitching like this, I’m definitely going to have the upper hand once I get to the bargaining table,” said Yntema, who indicated that his 2.70 ERA at the WBC would ensure him “at least” a two-year, €60,000 contract extension with his Dutch rookie league team. “And if our squad manages to take this thing all the way, I’ll be sitting pretty. Man, I would love to see the look on [UVV Chairman] Harm Janssen’s face after we bring back the hardware.” Yntema said that if UVV management fails to provide a fair deal, the 27-year-old would have no qualms about making his services available to any other team in the Honkbal Hoofdklasse League, including hated Utrecht rivals De Kroon Kinheim.

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