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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather.

Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the network's most attractive international reporters, was killed by Taliban militants today in Kandahar, Afghanistan.

Despite the tragic circumstances of her death, we at the Onion News Network choose to remember Susan as she was: perpetually camera-ready. Never without some teeth-whitening strips or an extra eyelash-lengthening vitamin E supplement, Susan was truly a television reporter's television reporter. Endlessly selfless, Susan was always the first to tell you if you looked tired or needed to lose a few pounds. Though in the hours leading up to her death she looked more like a member of what she called "the unbathing horde" than herself, we will always remember her as the stunning news-reader that she was. -->-->

Susan is survived by her manicurist Maria Cathcart and her Pomeranian dog Barkles.

Susan Merriweather 1974 - 2011.

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