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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Inarticulate Nolan Ryan Delivers What Players Think Might Have Been Inspirational Speech

SAN FRANCISCO—Legendary Rangers pitcher, team president, and mush-mouth Nolan Ryan delivered an indecipherable and presumably stirring speech in the team's clubhouse before Game 2 of the World Series Thursday, puzzled but tentatively inspired players later confirmed. "Just to have him there was a rush, but to have him look us all in the eyes and say 'Hyeah gotta wont thissen y'all goan shackum weerpo hurrah, goan an' dunnit husslinrusslin t' nagget chossle shummah' is something I'll never forget," said outfielder Josh Hamilton, adding that the hair on the back of his neck stood up and his forehead wrinkled during Ryan's five-minute talk. "Then, when everyone was just completely silent in awe and confusion, he walked to the door, turned, and repeated, 'Nagget. Chossle. Shummah.' I was just stunned." In Ryan's honor, the Rangers have adopted an unintelligible series of slurred vowels and sibilant fricatives as their unofficial World Series motto.

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