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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Inclement Weather Prevents Liar From Getting To Work

PROVIDENCE, RI—In spite of his best efforts to brave the ongoing winter storm and freezing temperatures, the inclement weather currently affecting the Northeast has left Providence-area liar Tim Carlson unable to commute to his office, the habitual deceiver reported to his colleagues today. “They haven’t been able to plow my street yet and the snow drifts have to be two feet high in some places, so I don’t really think there’s any way for me to make it in,” said an email sent from the man who spent 45 minutes attempting to dislodge his car from a snowbank and who routinely fabricates stories. “On top of that, the buses don’t seem to be running in my area, or else I definitely would have been in by now. This is really a mess. I’m so sorry, everyone. Wish I could be there.” Carlson also confirmed that the weather had left his apartment’s electricity somewhat spotty, preventing the unrepentant phony from doing any work from home.

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