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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Incredibly Hip NCAA Counter-Committee Ranks Field Of 64 Teams You've Never Heard Of

BROOKLYN, NY—Touting it as perhaps their most daring yet nuanced field to date, the NCAA's hip, trendsetting counter-committee released its bracket of 64 obscure alternative tournament teams Monday. "While the mainstream selection committee has, as usual, been droning on and on about Duke and Kansas, not a single one of those unimaginative sheep has paid any attention to what our three-seed Bethune-Cookman brings to the table, or is even the least bit aware of the hypnotic qualities of our at-large bid, Texas–Pan American," said 28-year-old chairman Michael Ley, reminding reporters that the counter-committee was seeding quirky and distinctive Gonzaga way before anybody else had even heard of them. "Somebody might look at our No. 1-overall Radford's 5-24 record and say they don't belong in a postseason tournament, but a record is exactly the kind of thing the majority of America would hold against a basketball team. We really probed deeper into their wonderfully idiosyncratic body of work, and we liked what we found." When asked why the counter-committee didn't choose to expand its field to 68, as the traditional NCAA tournament has, several members laughed, shook their heads, and said that "if you have to ask, you clearly don't get it in the first place."

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