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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Independent Bookstore Puts The Dave Eggers Right Where The Fuckers Can Find Them

PORTLAND, ME—Saying that he wanted to make things as easy as possible for all the dumbshits to locate, Back Pages Bookshop owner Stephen Larrick told reporters Friday that he had placed all of the Dave Eggers titles on a table near the independent bookstore’s entrance where any stupid son of a bitch who wandered in could find them. “A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, Zeitoun, the new one—I piled all that shit smack-dab in the middle of the room for the dum-dums to snatch up,” Larrick said of the centrally located display, adding that he had attached a handwritten list of staff recommendations that directed the fuckers to several further titles located nearby. “And wait until these dim bulbs see the bookcase I set up with those anthologies of George Saunders’ short stories. They’ll start squealing like pigs in shit.” Larrick added that he would almost feel bad for these chumps if he wasn’t riding them straight to the goddamn bank.

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Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

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