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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Injured Andrew Bynum Starting To Wonder If He’ll Ever Waste His Talent Again

PHILADELPHIA—Following yet another season-ending knee surgery, Philadelphia 76ers center Andrew Bynum openly wondered Sunday if he will ever have the chance to completely waste his talent on a basketball court again. “I’m beginning to worry that, with all these injuries, I won’t be able to get back out there and completely squander all of my abilities,” said Bynum, admitting that his chronic knee issues could potentially prevent him from ever fully underutilizing his God-given athletic gifts. “It’s just frustrating because I know that if I’m healthy I can definitely live up to one-tenth of my potential. I just have to be patient and diligent with my rehab so I can one day throw away another opportunity to become the best center in the league.” Reached for comment, Bynum’s orthopedic surgeon Dr. David Altchek told reporters he is confident Bynum will recover in time to fritter away his wealth of natural talent at the start of next season.

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