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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Innocent Man Unrepentant

WARNER ROBINS, GA–Dwayne Worley, wrongly accused in the brutal Feb. 11 slaying of two Warner Robins teens, showed "not the slightest remorse" during cross-examination by prosecutors Monday. Witnesses at the trial said the innocent man denied all wrongdoing in "a flat, unemotional voice that displayed not a trace of regret or shame." Said prosecutor Russell Sharp: "Worley is a monster, an inhuman monster. What kind of man could react so indifferently to such brutality?" Worley, who calmly repeated that he was at a friend's house at the time of the double homicide, was likened to such sociopaths as Charles Manson and Adolf Hitler by a psychiatric expert called upon to evaluate his mental state. If convicted, Worley is expected to face the death penalty.

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