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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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'Inside The Golf Bag' Best Title Ernie Els Could Think Of For Autobiography

WENTWORTH, ENGLAND—PGA Tour veteran Ernie Els announced Tuesday that he had settled on the title Inside The Golf Bag for his autobiography after eliminating a number of possible titles, including Removing The Pins, Irons Man, Teeing Off, Beyond The Golf Bag, Replacing My Divots, and Behind The Golf Bag. "Coming up with something pretty good was a lot harder than I imagined," said Els, who initially intended to use the title Dude, Where's My Cart? before deciding the reference was too dated. "I really liked Hookin' It, because I thought it tapped into the uncontrollable directions life takes sometimes, but Padraig Harrington said he was almost positive some professional bass fisherman had already used the title." Els added that he plans on using most of his 50 brainstormed titles as chapter headings, confirming that he already slotted in Ball In Play, In The Hole, and Lady Hittin' From A Man's Tee.

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