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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Intelligent, Respectable Women Across Globe Inexplicably Excited For Figure Skating

VANCOUVER—As the 2010 Winter Olympics get underway, the prospect of watching figure skating and ice dancing in all their forms has inspired a surprising amount of giddy exuberance in otherwise levelheaded women worldwide. "Did you hear? Mao Asada may perform to Nicole Kidman's love ballad from Moulin Rouge while wearing a gold-sequined shift!" the impeccably dressed Yale-educated New York–based international maritime contract attorney Ellen Conagey said to her London colleague Marlena Barstow Thursday during an intricate discussion of customs taxes and cargo liability. "It'll be, like, triple flip, triple toe loop, triple salchow, 'One day I'll fly away!' Yes! Anyway, the precedent set in Spector v. Norwegian Cruise Line makes it perfectly clear that Title III of the Americans with Disabilities Act applies to foreign-flag cruise ships in U.S. waters." According to figures kept by the International Olympic Committee, similar reactions are occurring in roughly 10 percent of the world's otherwise intelligent and respectable men.

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