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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Intelligent, Respectable Women Across Globe Inexplicably Excited For Figure Skating

VANCOUVER—As the 2010 Winter Olympics get underway, the prospect of watching figure skating and ice dancing in all their forms has inspired a surprising amount of giddy exuberance in otherwise levelheaded women worldwide. "Did you hear? Mao Asada may perform to Nicole Kidman's love ballad from Moulin Rouge while wearing a gold-sequined shift!" the impeccably dressed Yale-educated New York–based international maritime contract attorney Ellen Conagey said to her London colleague Marlena Barstow Thursday during an intricate discussion of customs taxes and cargo liability. "It'll be, like, triple flip, triple toe loop, triple salchow, 'One day I'll fly away!' Yes! Anyway, the precedent set in Spector v. Norwegian Cruise Line makes it perfectly clear that Title III of the Americans with Disabilities Act applies to foreign-flag cruise ships in U.S. waters." According to figures kept by the International Olympic Committee, similar reactions are occurring in roughly 10 percent of the world's otherwise intelligent and respectable men.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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