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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Internet Pop-Up Quiz Insulting

THOUSAND OAKS, CA—Internet user Paula Challey was insulted by the simplicity of a quiz that popped up on her computer desktop Monday. "I mean, come on—it offers me a prize if I can identify whether a picture is of Britney Spears, Madonna, or Paris Hilton," Challey said. "I'm a college graduate, for Christ's sake. Give me a real challenge! If these quizzes are this easy, I don't see the point in them." Challey then moved to the more formidable task of using her mouse to shoot an animated duck for the chance to win $100.

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