adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Internet To Reduce E-Mail Delivery To 6 Days A Week

INTERNET HEADQUARTERS—Speaking on behalf of the overburdened World Wide Web, Internet representatives announced Monday that all Sunday e-mail service would be discontinued as part of a new cost-cutting measure. "Any correspondence sent after 11:59 p.m. on Saturday will now be delivered by noon on Monday," Internet spokeswoman Sharon Jervis said. "Users should expect further delays during national holidays or on days affected by adverse weather conditions." Jervis added that, starting Mar. 30, all e-mail attachments will also be charged by weight.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close