adBlockCheck

Intramural Rugby Game Taking Up Field For Last 2 Fucking Hours

Top Headlines

Sports

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Intramural Rugby Game Taking Up Field For Last 2 Fucking Hours

PITTSBURGH—Voicing stunned disbelief that the game has somehow lasted this long, exasperated sources at the University of Pittsburgh campus confirmed Tuesday that an intramural rugby match has been occupying Charles L. Cost Field for the last two fucking hours. “How the hell is this thing still going on? They’ve been going back and forth out there since noon,” said 20-year-old onlooker Harrison Brier, who speculated that there must be some smaller version of the sport these assholes could play without hogging the entire field. “Oh, great, they’re switching sides again. How many fucking quarters or whatever can rugby possibly have? Jesus Christ.” At press time, several guys with a soccer ball were reportedly trotting onto the field while saying some shit about having it reserved.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close