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Introducing The Onion's Political Blog Team

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How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

Mom Learns About New Vegetable

MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.
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Introducing The Onion's Political Blog Team

Hi, I'm Oliver Thayer, Web and Politics Editor for the Onion!

During the political conventions, we dispatched our editorial cartoonist with nothing but a digital camera, outdated laptop and limited oversight. He sent back short observations throughout the day, and with little to no editing, we published these pieces on our website. This timely, unedited, and completely off-the-cuff format is known as a blog.

Until very recently, it wasn't certain that blogging would catch on. But after carefully observing the Internet over the past several weeks, we've determined that they are here to stay, and could potentially influence the mainstream media. Some day, blogs might even be opened up to readers to post their own reactions and thoughts, creating a free-flowing marketplace of ideas in cyberspace! But until then, we have decided to harness the potential of the blog medium to provide insight and analysis during this election season, and we've assembled a top-notch group of bloggers to do it. They are:

Kendra Davidson, Owner of The Davidson Family Restaurant in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Kendra has poured coffee for every major presidential candidate of the last 16 years, except Barack Obama and John McCain, who apparently couldn't be bothered.

Carla Freeman, Junior Class President

Carla Freeman was recently elected president of the North Forke High School Class of 2010 in Pleasant Valley, Missouri. She providers an insider's perspective on what it takes to run a campaign.

Kelly, Onion Editorial Cartoonist

The Onion's editorial cartoonist, Kelly, used his 35 years of experience to offer an inside look at the most important events of the political party conventions.

Dac Kien, Retired Vietcong Torturer

Dac spent 12 years fighting for the Vietcong to unify his country. For five of those years, he tortured John McCain and developed a deep and intimate view of the Republican nominee in the process.

Don DeLillo, Master of Postmodern Literature

Don DeLillo is considered one of America's greatest living novelists. His works explore themes of consumerism, alienation, and decontextualization, and include such towering postmodernist classics as White Noise, Mao II, and Underworld.

Gary Brunson, 4-Week-Old Fetus

Gary is a member of the Young America's Foundation and an outspoken critic of liberal politics.

Peter Martling, Hungover Blogger

Peter has covered politics from Washington, D.C. for 15 years. He keeps three items in his desk drawer: a pocket-sized copy of the U.S. Constitution, his first reporter's notebook and a bottle of Maker's Mark.

Sam Holtzman, Single Issue Voter

Sam works for the Davis, California Department of Transportation. He lives with his dog, Hunter.

Pip Dawkins, 19th Century Street Urchin

Pip was orphaned at age three when his parents died of cholera. He resides at the Bethnal Green Workhouse in London, and is ever so excited for this year's election in America.

T. Herman Zweibel, Onion Publisher Emeritus

Zweibel penned his first Onion editorial in 1880 and is considered "The Father of American Journalism." He spends his time financing the latest military conflicts and manipulating information for the purpose of profit-making.

Oliver Thayer, Web & Politics Editor

A recent graduate of Yale University, Oliver Thayer is the Onion's Web & Politics editor. He has more than four and a half months of experience, and is thrilled to be spearheading the Onion's election coverage.

I'll chime in regularly with reflections on the news industry, our own blogging efforts, and the election. Political blogging is the future of political reporting, and I'm proud to lead this time traveling expedition.

I honestly believe there's never been a better time to work for a newspaper.

Blogoriphically Yours,

Oliver Thayer

Web & Politics Editor, The Onion

- sent from my iPhone 3G

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