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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Invasive Restaurant Franchise Spreads To Third State

WASHINGTON—Noting that it had already disrupted several natural communities in Kansas and Iowa, officials from the Bureau of Consumer Protection revealed Tuesday that Bonito’s, a highly invasive strain of casual dining restaurant, had recently been spotted in parts of eastern Nebraska. “Though native to certain Mid-Atlantic states, this rapidly multiplying franchise poses a grave threat to the existing diversity of budget-friendly family dining options throughout the central United States, and if left unchecked could have a lasting, adverse impact on local fast-food chains,” said BCP spokesperson Erica Wilcox, adding that the non-native lunch and dinner establishment could be identified by its large size, bright red-and-orange brand coloring, and its distinctive Tex-Mex spin on traditional American fare. “We are working hard to contain this outbreak to the affected area around exit 451 to ensure this culinary menace does not spread any further west to vulnerable locations such as Elkhorn or the Oak View Mall. Let me be clear: With its formidable entrée selection and its Dollar Loco Menu, this fast-casual southwestern grill has the potential to overrun dozens of indigenous restaurants across the I-80 corridor.” Wilcox added that her agency might have no choice but to unleash a larger predatory franchise into the area, such as Chipotle or Panera Bread, in order to drive the invasive eatery out of the region for good.

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