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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Invasive Restaurant Franchise Spreads To Third State

WASHINGTON—Noting that it had already disrupted several natural communities in Kansas and Iowa, officials from the Bureau of Consumer Protection revealed Tuesday that Bonito’s, a highly invasive strain of casual dining restaurant, had recently been spotted in parts of eastern Nebraska. “Though native to certain Mid-Atlantic states, this rapidly multiplying franchise poses a grave threat to the existing diversity of budget-friendly family dining options throughout the central United States, and if left unchecked could have a lasting, adverse impact on local fast-food chains,” said BCP spokesperson Erica Wilcox, adding that the non-native lunch and dinner establishment could be identified by its large size, bright red-and-orange brand coloring, and its distinctive Tex-Mex spin on traditional American fare. “We are working hard to contain this outbreak to the affected area around exit 451 to ensure this culinary menace does not spread any further west to vulnerable locations such as Elkhorn or the Oak View Mall. Let me be clear: With its formidable entrée selection and its Dollar Loco Menu, this fast-casual southwestern grill has the potential to overrun dozens of indigenous restaurants across the I-80 corridor.” Wilcox added that her agency might have no choice but to unleash a larger predatory franchise into the area, such as Chipotle or Panera Bread, in order to drive the invasive eatery out of the region for good.

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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