FORT MYER, VA—President Trump declared in a televised address Monday that the U.S. was committed to fighting insurgents in Afghanistan until an unconditional victory was secured, or until he changed his mind, got distracted by something else, thought the war was reflecting poorly on him, or got bored with the whole thing.
BOSTONAccording to the paper's readers, a report on commercial seafood-processing practices published in Tuesday's Boston Globe has ruined fish sticks for everyone. "I used to love a big plate of fish sticks," mechanic Barney Rosetti said. "Not anymore, thanks to Steve Nelsen. Did he really have to use the part about emulsified scales and flash-frozen offal slurry? Thanks a lot, asshole." Readers have declared a two-day boycott of the Globe, timed to coincide with Nelsen's report on precisely what constitutes "breading" under current law.