adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Investors Stake Out Greenspan's House For Signs Of Rate Increase

WASHINGTON, DC—Investors have been staking out Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan's home in an effort to gather any clues that Greenspan will institute an increase in the interest rate, neighborhood sources reported Tuesday. "Right now, Mr. Greenspan is applying a second coat of Turtle Wax to his Lexus," mutual-fund investor Ted Iger said, as he squatted behind an oak tree. "Maybe he plans to sell the car before raising lending rates." Iger said a major household purchase would corroborate theories he has about the microwave box Greenspan's wife carried to the curb Sunday.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings